Over Mothered / Under Fathered

We live in a world where men often don’t know how to express their emotions because many were taught to hide their feelings, viewing vulnerability as a weakness. This creates emotional distance within their families, which can leave them feeling lost or disconnected from their role as fathers and partners. Men should be free to express their struggles and emotions without fear of judgment. Men need to know that it's okay to admit they don't always know how to be a father. Parenting isn't something most of us are taught, and it's not about perfection—it's about being present and willing to learn. Just as many women rely on maternal intuition, fathers have instincts too, but if those instincts aren't clear, it's completely okay to learn and grow into the role. What matters most is the effort to be a parent that children don’t need to heal from, and that journey starts with being open and honest about where you are and what you still need to learn.

Women are spending hours upon hours working, running a household, preparing / picking up supper, tending to her small children, all while she's trying her absolute hardest to work on healing emotionally to be a better version of herself. While some men are so busy fighting demons due to questioning his own identity, whether or not he is heterosexual or homosexual, and what his family, friends, work colleagues will think of him if he reveals his true identity. A man is more distracted about what society will think about him rather than how he is a complete failure in his household, how he is failing as a father, a husband or partner not even aware how narcissistic he truly is to not only his wife but his children. Which in turn is causing his kids to be
narcissistic as well.
The problem with this whole scenario is women have NO choice but to display masculinity because she carries the entire weight of the world on her shoulders, while her husband avoids responsibility AT ALL COSTS. A man is never held responsible for his actions and how his actions or lack of have damaged their children, completely broke his wife down into pieces,the same woman that goes above and beyond for her family working 16-18 hours a day from ALL that she does ALONE.
WHY you ask ? All because a woman isn't shown her value in or out of the home. She isn't paid nearly what she is worth, and she isn't treated like the queen she truly is.
When it comes down to it, children are emotionally damaged, men are disconnected from their roles, and women are left carrying the full weight of the household. This imbalance forces women to step into both masculine and feminine roles, while men avoid responsibility. If we don't begin to recognize the value of women and hold men accountable, families will continue to suffer. Change begins with awareness, empathy, and a shared commitment to restoring balance.

In my opinion, much of this stems from women not being paid what they truly deserve in the workforce. Despite doing equal or even more demanding work, women’s pay remains unfairly low. If women were compensated fairly, they wouldn’t need to rely on men for financial support. The responsibility lies with society and those in power for not addressing this long-standing inequality.

Women's pay needs a tremendous overhaul so women have the choice whether they want a man in their home or not. Women are the main ones taking care of the children, we are not looking for an immature man to take care of as well. Women are tired....tired of making wayyy less than we are worth at our place of employment, tired of raising somebody else's man child that the mother finally had enough of when he was in his twenties and kicked him out, and tired of settling for a man that doesn't even come close to bringing half of what she brings to the table, and she knows damn good and well she deserves a hell of a lot more than what he could ever do for her.
IT IS TIME FOR ALL THESE OVER MOTHERED little boys to step up and be a father to their children, and a partner to their wives. Quit being takers, who are looking to get spoiled, looking for a woman to take care of them. Time to grow some balls and quit being so immature and take care of yourself.Spoil your woman for a change, let her get home from work and have supper ready for her, while she sits and watches TV. You helped make those kids too, get them kids from daycare or wherever, bathe them, feed them, do their homework with them. BE THE FATHER THEY NEED YOU TO BE!!! We have got to quit making excuses why it's okay for women to do all of this while a man does nothing. The first step starts with men being accountable for the many ways they have neglected everyone and everything in their lives.

An emotionally absent or unavailable parent may be distant due to a variety of internal and external factors, which can affect their ability to connect and engage with their child. Some common causes include:

1. Unresolved Trauma: Parents who have experienced trauma, such as abuse, neglect, or loss, may struggle with emotional availability because they haven’t healed from their own past wounds.

2. Mental Health Issues: Conditions such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, or personality disorders (like Narcissistic Personality Disorder) can make it difficult for parents to be emotionally present, as they are preoccupied with their own struggles.

3. Substance Abuse: Alcohol or drug addiction can impair a parent’s ability to connect with their children, as their focus shifts to satisfying their dependency rather than fostering relationships.

4. Stress and Overwork: Parents dealing with high levels of stress or working long hours may become emotionally distant due to burnout or exhaustion, leading them to detach from family life.

5. Emotional Immaturity: Some parents may not have developed the emotional maturity to navigate the complexities of relationships and parenthood, leaving them unable to respond to their child’s emotional needs.

6. Attachment Issues: If a parent didn’t experience secure attachment in their own childhood, they may struggle to bond with their children, repeating patterns of emotional unavailability.

7. Cultural or Societal Norms: In some cultures, emotions are seen as a sign of weakness, especially for men, which can lead to a lack of emotional expression or connection with children.

8. Divorce or Separation: Parents going through a divorce or separation may become emotionally unavailable due to their own emotional turmoil or preoccupation with the conflict.

9. Personality Traits: Some individuals naturally have more distant or introverted personalities, which might make it harder for them to express emotions or engage deeply in relationships.

10. Distracting Priorities: Parents who prioritize their career, social life, or other personal ambitions over their family may become emotionally absent, even if they are physically present.

An emotionally unavailable parent can deeply affect a child’s emotional development, leading to feelings of abandonment, insecurity, or low self-worth. Understanding the underlying causes can help in seeking support or healing from the impacts of emotional neglect.

An emotionally absent or unavailable parent can contribute to the development of narcissistic traits in a child, but it is not the sole cause. Narcissism is influenced by a complex mix of factors, including genetics, early childhood experiences, and environmental influences. However, emotionally neglectful parenting can play a significant role in shaping a child’s personality in ways that may foster narcissistic tendencies. Here are a few ways emotional absence may contribute:

1. Lack of Validation and Self-Worth

Emotionally absent parents often fail to provide the validation, love, and attention that children need to develop a healthy sense of self-worth. As a result, the child may grow up constantly seeking external validation and admiration to compensate for the emotional void. This need for attention can manifest as narcissism later in life.

2. Emotional Neglect and Insecurity

Children of emotionally unavailable parents may feel insecure and develop a sense of abandonment. In response, some children build up a false sense of superiority or self-importance as a defense mechanism to protect themselves from feelings of inadequacy or rejection.

3. Overcompensation

In some cases, emotionally absent parents are highly critical or neglectful, leading the child to overcompensate by focusing on themselves in an exaggerated way. This can develop into narcissistic behavior, as the child might constantly seek to prove their worth or superiority to gain the attention they lacked in childhood.

4. Entitlement or Neglect of Boundaries

Children raised by parents who are emotionally unavailable may not learn healthy emotional boundaries or empathy. This can result in the child growing up with a sense of entitlement, expecting to receive the attention or care they didn’t get as children without learning how to give it to others.

5. Inconsistent Love or Praise

Sometimes, emotionally unavailable parents swing between giving affection and withholding it, leaving the child confused about their worth and how to earn love. This inconsistency can lead the child to believe that admiration and attention are conditional, reinforcing narcissistic behaviors.

Other Contributing Factors:

• Genetics: Narcissistic tendencies can also be influenced by genetic factors.

• Overindulgence: On the other hand, narcissism can also develop in children who are overindulged or excessively praised without earning it, leading them to believe they are inherently superior.

• Cultural and Social Factors: Societal pressures to succeed and the glorification of individualism can also contribute to narcissistic traits.

While emotional neglect from a parent can contribute to the development of narcissism, it is not a guarantee. Other factors like a supportive environment, self-reflection, therapy, and positive role models can counteract these tendencies and foster emotional resilience and empathy

These traits are not exclusive to women or any gender, as both masculine and feminine energies exist in everyone to varying degrees. Balancing both energies can create harmony in one’s life and relationships.

Both masculine and feminine energies are present in everyone, and finding a balance between the two can lead to a more harmonious and fulfilled life. Masculine energy complements feminine energy, creating a balance between action and reflection, strength and empathy, and independence and connection.

Feminine Energy
1. Nurturing: Feminine energy is caring and supportive, with a focus on creating emotional safety and nurturing relationships.

2. Intuition: It is often linked with a deep sense of intuition or inner knowing, being able to sense emotions and needs without verbal communications.

3. Receptivity: Feminine energy is open and receptive, both in relationships and in life, allowing experiences to unfold naturally rather than trying to control them.

4. Creativity: This energy is associated with creativity and the ability to give life to new ideas, projects, and solutions.

5. Empathy: A strong sense of empathy and the ability to deeply connect with others’ feelings is a hallmark of feminine energy.

6. Collaboration: Feminine energy thrives on cooperation, building connections, and working harmoniously with others.

7. Compassion: There is an innate compassion and sensitivity toward others, providing comfort and emotional support.

8. Flow and Flexibility: Rather than rigid structure, feminine energy is adaptable, flowing, and able to move with change in a balanced way.

9. Patience: It often exhibits patience and calmness in the face of adversity, being able to hold space for others and allow growth in its own time.

10. Gentleness: Feminine energy values gentleness and peace, often preferring non-confrontational approaches to conflict.

Masculine Energy
1. Action-Oriented: Masculine energy is focused on doing, achieving, and taking decisive action to reach goals.

2. Leadership: It often embodies leadership qualities, with an emphasis on taking charge, directing, and guiding others.

3. Strength and Protection: Masculine energy is linked to physical and emotional strength, as well as a natural instinct to protect others.

4. Discipline: There is a strong sense of self-discipline, structure, and control, with an ability to focus on long-term objectives.

5. Logic and Rationality: Masculine energy values logic, reason, and practicality when solving problems or making decisions.

6. Confidence: It exudes confidence and assertiveness, with a willingness to take risks and stand firm in one’s beliefs or actions.

7. Independence: Masculine energy emphasizes autonomy and self-sufficiency, often thriving on the ability to function independently.

8. Clarity and Direction: This energy brings clarity and a sense of purpose, aiming to move forward with clear direction and goals.

9. Providing and Protecting: There’s a natural inclination to provide for others and ensure their safety and well-being, whether materially, emotionally, or physically.

10. Focus: Masculine energy tends to be goal-oriented, single-minded in the pursuit of objectives, and able to block out distractions.

WHAT EXACTLY DOES IT MEAN TO BE EMOTIONALLY ABSENT OR UNAVAILABLE

IS EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE AND/OR ABSENT PARENT'S THE REASON THERE ARE SO MANY PEOPLE THESE DAYS WITH NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER ?

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